Week#20: Just Do It!

Greeeeeetings from Merptown!

Well, I plateaued… yet again. BUT… I didn’t go up, so I’m thankful for that. Anyway move in the downward direction, I’m happy. Not satisfied, but relieved!

Week 19: .3lbs    Current Weight: 302.5    Total Loss: 34.5                                                          Days Remaining: 589/730 (as of Friday 28th)

I’m pushing my luck. I’m doing pretty good still with activity, which is really the only reason why I’ve continued my snail pace in losing. I could really be shedding the pounds with all this exercise if I would just quit it with the deviating off my nutrition plan. I need someone to slap me in the face everytime I have a food fantasy!!

Still, it’s mostly emotional eating. Self-loathing takes a fair share in the eating department, which sounds sad, but it’s not so much a, “I hate myself,” as you’d think, but just this subconscious self-sabotage/destructive habit. I get angry with myself in general, for being here to begin with, for taking so long to get there, for doubting myself – for having such a hard time with the mental/emotional component, etc. I whine to myself, thinking how it’s too hard, blah blah blah. But, everyday I’m trying to talk myself back into really boosting up my confidence and motivation again. If I can get myself back to that place I was at when I first started, I’ll get another great jumpstart and get the pounds falling off like crazy again!

I have another milestone I’m setting for myself. When I started my diet, where I lost a mad ton amount of weight when I first started college, I started at 297 lbs. When I break that number, I’ll feel a great sense of encouragement – that I’m on my way to losing it all! And closer to my halfway. So, when I reach 290 lets say, I’ll reward myself with……………….. chocolate cake..   Lol   Just kidding! Hmm, I’m not sure. I’ll have to think about it. It’ll have to be good though. I’m thinking maybe some Nike sneakers, but that’s quite a treat for such a minor milestone. Maybe I should save that for the 50lbs loss mark. We’ll see. Any suggestions would be cool. It obviously can’t be food. Tennis related, clothing related, anything fun is a good motivator.

How are you doing, if you’re on a diet, or a personal challenge of some other kind?

I’m having fun taking better care of myself. I’ve just started this new regimen on  my skin to help clear it up better, and it feels great when I keep with it. It really is a regimen – serum, and two different types of cleansers, lotions and creams, it’s crazy. But, my face feels great when I go through with the whole routine each day and night. I’ve even started wearing makeup again, oh my goodness! It’s crazy!

Alright, so again I will push myself this week with the water. Water, water, water…. just drink the damn water!!!!!!!! And, I’m going to really plan out my meals this week. I’m hoping tomorrow to do meal prep for the week and eat fresh foods – Reshape the Nation style. That combined with my water and activity levels, I hope I can get past the 300lbs mark!!! I want to see a 2 at the start my number this Friday!! Just have to keep moving forward, whether I crawl, walk, skip, run, as long as I’m going forward – that will do for now until I get my full blown motivation back! I think once I see my numbers in the 200′s I’ll get a second, or third, diet-wind and keep chugging through it!!

Good luck with all of you and your own challenges in the coming week! We can do this!! And if you want to scream, just do it, let it out! Sometimes it’s good just to let go! I do it all the time.

Love in weight-loss and feeling gooooood,

Merptown

Week #19: For All the Jiggle-Sisters

Hello Merpsters!

Week 19: 1.1 lbs   Current Weight: 302.8    Total Loss: 34.2                                                  Days Remaining: 596/730 (as of today, Friday 21st)

Well, I’m happy to say I at least dropped a pound on Friday’s weigh-in. 1.1 pounds to be precise! I didn’t workout as much as the week before, but I was still pretty active. The reason for the slight drop would have to be my cheating here and there! oops! Still, I know! I’m certainly having a hard time being as orthodox with my diet as I was initially when I started out. It’s always the same, I like to graze here and there, and then afterwards I beat myself up thinking, “that was so unnecessary, I didn’t need that. It wasn’t even that good.” And my body is never satisfied afterwards.

Mentally, it’s a battle everyday. I haven’t quite built my confidence to where it was early on in this challenge. But, that’s where the activity comes in. Tennis makes me feel the most energetic and enthused. I’m always feeling on top of the world kinds of happy after playing even for a short while. This week I have four personal training sessions at LA Fitness lined up, and hopefully some tennis, if I can line up some people to play with. I’m going to be a mess by the end of the week, though. As it is, I’m aching quite a bit. My knees are wobbling quite a lot these days, I’m thinking I need some support, but it’s hard to find any that fit my legs! EEesh!

Tennis lessons are fun, I love the drills. The best part is how strong I feel when I do them. Well, sort of. My legs feel strong, or my quads rather. The only off-set is that my knees are weak. If I can support those a bit better, I know I’d really be able to make more use of the muscle I’ve built up in my quads. It feels great to be active like that again. Running around, and the endorphins aren’t so bad either. It’s exhilarating, I can’t believe I thought sports were boring when I was a kid!

Here is another tid-bit I meant to post about on Friday. I’m sorry to be late again, by the way. Well, ABC is doing this new show with that Chris Powell guy I’ve been talking so much about with Reshape the Nation. It’s a weight loss project oriented show. They provide you with a personal trainer who will come to you and work with you for a whole year to get you to your goal weight. Of course, you’d have to let them film you in the process. Not great, but at this point, I’ll do anything! The casting call was this Saturday in Washington, D.C. I was going to go – all prepared to leave early Saturday morning to go down there and audition, but I ended up not going. I was too skeptical being the chances are so slim, and expenses etc. However, there is a video option – and it’s not too late to submit my application through the mail, so – I’m going to try that I think. Why not, right? Might as well give it a go! The requirement is that you have at least 200 lbs to lose. Of course, now I have less than that to go, but I feel like I qualify anyways. I have at most, 170 to go still. Maybe they’ll take me anyway. Here is the link to the casting call if anyone is interested: http://www.3ballproductions.com/weightlossproject.html

I’m not sure I’ll do as well in a video as in person. Everyone keeps telling me, “just show your personality…” I don’t know how you do that just talking to a video. We’ll see how it goes. Maybe I’ll post the audition tape on the site afterwards.. that should be a sight to see. ;P

I still sometimes wish there was a rehab program or something I could go into. A retreat off in the woods somewhere there’s no deliciousness to tempt me. And come back all better! That would be nice. I know there are places like that – but they’re ridiculously expensive. I know, because I’ve checked them out. Even if they say, “money isn’t an object, we’ll work something out – our priority is getting people healthy.” Not true. Lies! Don’t believe them, they really don’t care unless you have a big fat check in hand. Anybody wants to prove it wrong, send me the information I’ll book my retreat tomorrow! ;P Obviously, it can’t be free, but help a fat-sister out! Not just the rich fatty sisters.

Obviously if I was rich I wouldn’t be as unhappy. I could hire Rafa Nadal to be my personal trainer and I’d be the happiest fatty on earth!! ;D  Just kidding. Money, nor Rafa, won’t change the need and desire to feel better and be healthy!

My goal for this week is to be more strict to my diet menu, and drink lots and lost of water. I need to get back closer to that gallon! It’s good for you, and I was starting to feel pretty great. You really can start feeling a difference right away when you don’t put toxic foods and drinks in your body. It’s a shame you crave things that only have the instant gratification but make you feel junky afterwards. But, water makes you feel the cleanse. It’s good! So, mucho mas in the water department.

Also, I’d like to give a celebrity shout out to Niecy Nash – from Dancing with the Stars! Holler to my Jiggle-Sister. I loved watching her almost every week and her positive attitude and openness about the ”jiggly-parts” so many of us are so familiar with ourselves! Way to go being out there, so confident, dancing and being awesome!

Talk soon! And here is to a better drop this week. I think I may drop in more ways than one by Friday’s weigh-in. I may have to crawl over to the computer to post!

Love in weight-loss, healthy food, water, exercise and TeNNiS, and RAFA!!! Shout out to my Rafita.. You win this Roland Garros, BEBÈ!! ;P

-Merptown

Week #18 Results: 25 Going on 80

Greeetings Merpitrons!

Well, I did pretty good since my weigh-in on Monday. I lost 2 lbs! 2 lbs in 4 days! Sweeeeet! It’s the exercise. So, on Monday I was 305.9 lbs, and today at weigh-in I was exactly 303.9 lbs.

Current Weight: 303.9 lbs       Total loss: 33.1 lbs

Left to lose: 166.9 lbs                  Days remaining: 603/730 days

These past few days were most definitely not as perfect as the real week #1, the start of this diet, back in January. But, it was much better. That, combined with great exercise this week I know is what gave me the drop. And, it makes me feel even better ! It was a tough week. I never realized what an emotional eater I am. I never drew that parallel! I know, it’s dumb, because it’s the most commonly recognized parallel associated with weight loss, but I always thought it was so cliché. The whole, “fat people eat their feelings.” But, it’s fricking true. That’s still difficult, learning to manage my emotions in a more constructive way and not eating, or shopping for that matter.

I really felt the burn this week with all the working out. I could hardly move for days after my last training session on Tuesday. I know it’s the good kind of pain, but I kid not when I say it was difficult to stand and sit for a while there. I’m hoping soon I will adjust to this level of consistent activity once again and keep it going. The tennis is fabulous. So much fun! I wish I had someone to hit with everyday. I can’t wait until I really learn how to play good. Then, it will be really fun. I did meet some people at my work today that love tennis too. Maybe I might find a couple of playing partners once I get good enough.

My little nephew and niece are growing up so fast. They are now 7 months of age and absolutely adorable. So perfect! They are my little inspirations everyday! It’s such a treat to watch them grow and change, so fast. I can’t wait to see what they’re going to be like, what kinds of personalities they’ll have when they start walking and talking.

Tomorrow I’ll be working on finishing up the deck we’ve built on my grandparents’ house. I don’t know how I’ll get through it with this muscle pain, sheesh. But, it’ll be nice to be working outside all day and it contributes to my activity level for the week and it’s fun. Makes me miss Habitat for Humanity. Oh, Habitat. I hope I can get down to Mississippi and work for a week or so soon. I miss the team down there, and Mississippi in general. There are things I came to appreciate about that region, and I miss it. Southern weather, believe it or not, along with southern hospitality, I definitely miss. It was never a dull moment, that’s for sure. As for the pace of life, I grew accustomed to the laid back pace – it was nice.

Mother’s Day was a really fun occasion this year. It was just nice because the women in my family got together and just had an enjoyable day together. Everybody was in a good mood, everyone enjoyed each other, we had laughs, it was nice weather, it was just.. nice. I’m hoping when it gets really nice out, we can have some more weekend afternoons together like that out on the new deck. Maybe 4th of July. It’s nice being home with my family. I’ve really counted myself as lucky that I’ve gotten to spend time with them this year, after being away for so long and missing so many of the little things.

Physically, I forgot to mention early – I am having issues with some body parts in the midst of my attempts at transformation. I know these things will probably fix themselves when I reach my goal weight, but in the meantime, ouch! My back is the main problem. It gives me mucho grief. I feel like an 80-year-old woman sometimes. It hurts up and down my spine. It could be after I’ve moved around a lot, maybe working outside, maybe just cleaning the house, or sitting at my office. Who knows, but it hurts a lot when it hurts. Sometimes I get these wicked knots all over, big tough knots, like crazy. The other part are my knees. Lately, they’ve been buckling out from underneath me randomly, whether I be walking or even just standing. Sometimes they hurt, but other times, they’re just weak and loose. I’m worried about the wear and tear I’ve put them through.

My friend has recommended acupuncture, which I’m very intrigued about. I’ve meant to make an appointment for weeks. Hopefully, I’ll get in soon and see if it helps. From what I read it could be really good, not just for pain relief, but energy and stress relief. We’ll see. I’m very interested to try it out and report back on my findings, so stay tuned. Or, if you’ve done it yourself, let me know how it was!

Alrighty guys. Thanks for staying tuned and thanks for everything! Pretty boring post this week, but I’m good with boring. Sometimes, boring is just.. nice. Ah!

Have a fantastic weekend!

Love,

Merptown

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